There must be a way to keep track of children and other movable objects in the house (like a husband) that not only knows you were they are but also tells you where they are NOT. Like this morning, for example.
I am outside by the clothesline, happily (well not too happily) hanging out the umpteenth basket of laundry for the day and the kids are supposed to be playing around the other side of the house. I can’t see them, so I put my faith and trust into my 5 year old and say, “You are in charge. Watch the baby. If anyone comes to the door, don’t open it. If the phone rings, don’t answer it. Just stay outside and watch the baby. You got it?”
Head nodding generally indicates a “yes”.
I was up to hanging my fourth sheet and had my head buried inside this pile of white cotton and swearing at the giant that had erected my clothesline when I realised that all was quiet. Too quiet. When you’re children are quiet there are a few possibilities:
a) they have found a map to the nearest lolly shop and have a hitched a ride there.
b) they are inside vacuuming and cleaning the house (BAH!)
c) they are playing peacefully in the garden, sitting exactly where you told them to (DOUBLE BAH!)
or there is the fourth option.
I walked around the side of the house to see my 5 year old sitting quietly on the grass playing Powerrangers. That was a good sign. Then I see my 3 year old on his bike on the Patio. Another good sign. Hang on…..(counting)….1……2……”Ryan, where’s Hannah?”
“What is she doing in there? Didn’t I put you in charge? Didn’t I say to watch her?
Stares at me.
Now, if you are a parent, there are a few thoughts running through your head at this time. Christ! Has she found a way to pry open the kitchen cupboard and drunk the Mr.Sheen? Is she sitting quietly in a puddle of her own blood after falling off the edge of the bathtub?
No, is the short answer.
She was happily drawing with her brother’s texta’s. Harmless. Wonderful toddler playing.
Unfortunately she didn’t realise that the things you are supposed to colour in are the colouring books, and NOT your own face.
I rest my case – mums desperately need a tracking device. Something small and undetectable so that it could be attached to pairs of socks that go in the laundry, or unruly teenagers who are out past your bedtime, or grandma who dresses up in her best cardy and tries to head off to the Pokies.
On a more organised note, I have done a bit of scrapping this week whilst in the middle of spring cleaning my poor house. Watch out! If it moves, I’ve cleaned it. Hell, if it doesn’t move, I’ve cleaned it as well. Not that you tell the difference – the house still looks like the same pile of ratty toys and unfolded laundry that it did before I cleaned. I guess that now, though, the ratty toys and laundry are CLEAN.
I got a wonderful call from Kristy at Scrapbooking Memories to say that I have been shortlisted for the Masters. I’ve had a week of feeling tipsy about it and now I am back to being a bit more pragmatic – I’m only 1 of 100 finalists, so I figure that the odds aren’t good. However! I remain happy with my own style of scrapping stuff, which is a good thing. I did get to the stage with a LO last week when I tore the thing to pieces – but that was because I had the pips with my DH. WHY OH WHY do husbands choose to pick their fights at the worst possible times in the day?
Good luck to all the girls in IDOL at Embellished at the moment. We are up to round 5 and the competitioon is getting seriously tough. So tough that even I have hesitated before putting in a sample for fear it wouldn’t measure up to the best Idol entries!
Better go and pick up the boy from the bus – not just ANY boy, MY boy. Good grief, it sounded like I was a streetwalker from Darlinghurst then.
In the meantime, here are some of my newest LO’s – these are some really fresh ones that haven’t been put up online anywhere else yet.
Enjoy and keep scrapping chookies!
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